Sunday 26 January 2020

Isra Aziz, English, Article Expanded

Revised 

Marriage expenses cause headache these days

Isra Aziz   2k18/MC/65
Expanded Article

Nowadays, the psyche of people is judging you on how much money you're going to spend on your child's marriage and it became a hype and trend to do a wedding at large amount of money. A wedding which includes unlimited customs and traditions and functions like bridal shower, nikkahday , mayun, mehndi, dholki night, wedding day and valima ceremony is declared as memorable by the people. The society made marriage-a Shariyat act, difficult for itself. While in Islam, those weddings that are simple are more successful.
Parents grow up their children in a good environment. Their first priority is to educate them and feed them a healthy food. But, when the time of their marriage comes, they get scared because of the norms, set by the society. These so called norms are marriage ceremonies should be held in a huge banquet with number of food items, well decorated  bride and bridegroom's entry that makes no sense to me and each and every function must be organize in a separate hall, that can cost above 50 lac.
The dowry system where second family from the boy's side demands uncountable things like furniture, gold jewelry and many more, they do not even think that opposite family can afford these things or not. They just want what they demand. Some of the family members from girl's side, they want a boy for their girl with good looks plus handsome salary.
The bride and groom’s wedding outfits that are of no use after wearing once, are some other burdens ranging from thousands to lac. Furthermore, other family dresses and presents increase this burden and make it unbearable sometimes.
On 5th March of 2019, I was invited to attend a wedding ceremony of one of my relative's family friends in Karachi. I went there and what was the most interesting thing for me is that a girl who was going to get married was a daughter of a Government employee in health department and being the only person who can earn for his family his father arranged her daughter's event in a very huge hall well decorated with so many flowers and astonishing lightning which was making the environment more beautiful and attractive. Thousands of people were enjoying out there and all of sudden one thing happened that spoiled my mood completely and not only mine but it also converted guest's enthusiastic emotions into sadness, grief and kind of awkward because that one thing was a demand from boy's family they said, "if you people (means girls family) can't give a car to our boy then we will not let our boy to marry your girl". I mean what kind of demand it was like humanity has been killed by us. To organize a wedding in such an increasing inflation situation is not an easy task for anyone and such people pour more burden on those people who can't even live their lives properly.

While living in a country named as " Islamic Republic of Pakistan " we must keep this Hadith in our mind "The most blessed Nikkah (wedding) is the one with least expenses." quoted words of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

But the question is who made these marriage expenses big and then bigger? Of course, the people, live in this society, are responsible for fulfilling these demands just because they have a fear of not to speak up. They just try to make the marriage ceremony happen in any way. Even some people take loans just to show off to the society.
 Can't we be real and simple? If we make ourselves simple and real, then things will go easier for all of us. We should try to make weddings as simple as we can. This is how we can end the fear of not being able to afford the expenses among people.
To control such rising expenses, the Punjab Marriage Function Act was passed by the Punjab Assembly on 14 of April in 2016 and approved on 19 April 2016 by the Governor of Punjab. The act is known as "one dish rule" which defines that the organizer of the wedding can serve only one dish that means one salan, one rice dish, salad, cold drinks and one sweet dish. Isn't it better than 60 plus dishes that usually goes wasted by the people? This law is being followed in Punjab for many years, ending the misery of people living out there somehow.
Also, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Assembly harmoniously choose to follow up the KPK bill. It is same as the Punjab Marriage Function Law but in this bill there is one different thing. According to the bill, bridegroom's family cannot force the bride's family for dowry. If they do so, they will be inflicteda penalty with regard to 30 lac or captivity of maximum 2 months. Well, that's a good initiative, taken by the KPK Government which should be enforced in Sindh too.
And here i would like to appreciate the efforts of some the NGO's like Hidaya foundation which has been serving the poor and needy in economically depressed areas of Pakistan, India , Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Indonesia and West Africa  since 1999. Their mission is to support countless families in South  Asian countries  which are unable to have their sisters  and daughters get married. Till now this foundation has supported 3,363 marriages under marriage support project. If anyone wants to give their contribution to this foundation they can donate through online submission by using check or credit card. This foundation is playing an important in a society and performing its job very well.
Instead of wasting money on lavish weddings, we can save this money for a needy person who actually need our help. For this, we all have to change our mindset and attitude towards marriage arrangements and expenses. This will make the society more beautiful for living a life to the fullest than it can be.
To conclude my subject of discussion i would like to add a quote of Sir Albert Einstein as well “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking it cannot be changed without changing our thinking." So we must work on modernizing our thinking.

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Ok

Marriage expenses cause headache these days

Isra Aziz
2k18/MC/65
Nowadays, the psyche of people is judging you on how much money you're going to spend on your child's marriage and it became a hype and trend to do a wedding at large amount of money. A wedding which includes unlimited customs and traditions and functions like bridal shower, nikkah day , mayun, mehndi, dholki night, wedding day and valima ceremony is declared as memorable by the people. The society made marriage-a Shariyat act, difficult for itself. While in Islam, those weddings that are simple are more successful.
Parents grow up their children in a good environment. Their first priority is to educate them and feed them a healthy food. But, when the time of their marriage comes, they get scared because of the norms, set by the society. These so called norms are marriage ceremonies should be held in a huge banquet with number of food items, well decorated  bride and bridegroom's entry that makes no sense to me and each and every function must be organize in a separate hall, that can cost above 50 lac.
The dowry system where second family from the boy's side demands uncountable things like furniture, gold jewelry and many more, they do not even think that opposite family can afford these things or not. They just want what they demand. Some of the family members from girl's side, they want a boy for their girl with good looks plus handsome salary.
The bride and groom’s wedding outfits that are of no use after wearing once, are some other burdens ranging from thousands to lac. Furthermore, other family dresses and presents increase this burden and make it unbearable sometimes.
But the question is who made these marriage expenses big and then bigger? Of course, the people, live in this society, are responsible for fulfiling these demands just because they have a fear of not to speak up. They just try to make the marriage ceremony happen in any way. Even some people take loans just to show off to the society.
 Can't we be real and simple? If we make ourselves simple and real, then things will go easier for all of us. We should try to make weddings as simple as we can. This is how we can end the fear of not being able to afford the expenses among people.
To control such rising expenses, the Punjab Marriage Function Act was passed by the Punjab Assembly on 14 of April in 2016 and approved on 19 April 2016 by the Governor of Punjab. The act is known as "one dish rule" which defines that the organizer of the wedding can serve only one dish that means one salan, one rice dish, salad, cold drinks and one sweet dish. Isn't it better than 60 plus dishes that usually goes wasted by the people? This law is being followed in Punjab for many years, ending the misery of people living out there somehow.
Also, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Assembly harmoniously choose to follow up the KPK bill. It is same as the Punjab Marriage Function Law but in this bill there is one different thing. According to the bill, bridegroom's family cannot force the bride's family for dowry. If they do so, they will be inflicted a penalty with regard to 30 lac or captivity of maximum 2 months. Well, that's a good initiative, taken by the KPK Government which should be enforced in Sindh too.
Instead of wasting money on lavish weddings, we can save this money for a needy person who actually wants our help. For this, we all have to change our mindset and attitude towards marriage arrangements and expenses. This will make the society more beautiful for living a life to the fullest than it can be.

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